Lately, I have noticed a little more swagger about me. I have been feeling good about myself, and it shows. It's in my posts, it's in my smile, it's actually in everything I been doing in the last several weeks. It has overflowed to the point where I have had people reach out to me just to say things about how nice it is to see me confident in myself, again. This has truly been the greatest compliment I have received on my journey, thus far. It's one thing when you see the change in yourself, it is a totally different thing when other's start to take notice.
I've never been a shy person. Anyone who knows me will tell you just as much. I don't play coy, I don't sugar coat things, and I am certainly not going to keep my mouth shut. Even as a young girl, I wasn't very confident in my body but I made up for that by being loud, outgoing, and boisterous. I had a very athletic build as a teen, and my biggest issue with my body back then was my thighs. The only time you would catch me in a pair of shorts was on the soccer field. I weighed maybe 120 pounds, but I HATED the shape of them. They bothered me so much, I would literally always have them covered. In bathing suits, I wore skirts to cover them, and even if it was 100 degrees outside, I was the girl wearing long jeans. No one ever took much notice though, I showed off other parts of my body, so it was just considered my style. It wasn't till my husband and I took our kids to Disney World in August of 2015 that I finally bought myself some jean shorts. It was legitimately the first time in my adult life, I wore shorts in public. Once I came home, I buried them in a drawer, only to be worn when we were on vacation and I couldn't stand the humidity. This went on for several years, I may have wore each pair 4 or 5 times before they no longer fit. I'm hoping to finally break the cycle this summer, and show off these thighs, I been working so hard on, but the voice in the back of my head still isn't sure.
As women our bodies are constantly changing. From puberty, to pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond. It's actually a pretty cool feat that our bodies are capable of so much change. It is so incredibly strong but most of us never take the time to actually appreciate it. From a very young age, women are taught from our mothers, and other women in our lives that skinny equals good, even if they don't explicitly mean to teach us that. Society, for such a long time played a huge role in what we see, and it still does. From TV to movies and even magazines, you would have been hard pressed up until the last decade to find real women's bodies on your screens, let alone clothes to fit them. The body positive movement has started to take hold more recently, so finally women younger than me are seeing all sorts of women's bodies on many different media platforms, and it changes perception, whether you agree with it or not.
Our confidence should not be tied to our weight. It's a feeling, and whatever makes you feel good about yourself, you should celebrate. I didn't lose my confidence because I was overweight, I lost it because I stopped believing in myself and my capabilities. I also let that go on for far too long. I now know, there's going to be good days, and there's going to be bad days too. It's all about letting the good outweigh the bad, and forging through. This change that you are all starting to see come through now, I recognized months ago, but it didn't stop me from pushing. It has actually inspired me to work harder, and be better in order to inspire others to regain their own confidence and swagger.
Comments