This week started out ordinary but progressed into so much more, and I am tired! It’s been 10 weeks since I started my new position at work. There was a bit of mix-up in the beginning, which led me to assist my previous department for the first two weeks of the year but otherwise it’s been full-time training for the last eight weeks! Monday morning started out just like the previous eight and then suddenly we were thrown into the deep end. I thought I was prepared, and I was work wise but schedule wise, I was not. This new position has afforded me more freedom and flexibility in my work than I have had my entire professional career, which has been both awesome and scary.
I’m used to working in a call center, where you have to be ON all the time. You are consistently dealing with disgruntled members, vendors, doctors, nurses, etc., but this new position has been a reprieve from all of that. I’m almost not sure how I not only survived but thrived in my previous environment. The being ON all the time and GO nature of the job really leaves you no choice to either float or flounder, but even those who float eventually burn out in those conditions. I had been burnt out well before the end of last year but I was holding on anyway. Dealing with a constant barrage of disappointment and disapproval from everywhere takes a toll but you get so caught up in the routine of it all, it just becomes normal.
The company I work for and its mission is amazing. We truly help people in poor and under served communities get care, and stay well. It’s probably that mission and my empathy of once being part of that community that kept me going all those years, but I was more than ready to move on and took a chance in the Fall of 2020 and applied for some in house openings. I had some interviews but nothing seemed to be happening. I was just about ready to say enough and continue on slogging and then this opportunity presented itself. Kim had literally just blindsided us with her diagnosis the day before I received the offer, so I almost wanted to say no. I thought how could I possibly start something new with all that she would have going on, but her and my husband convinced me to take the position. It was as if they knew it would not only benefit me but all of us, especially given the predicament we were finding ourselves in.
I’m happy I took their advice. Thus far, I have learned a lot. I have a greater overall appreciation for the company I work for, it’s mission and especially the people who are doing what I used to do, but this week I am tired. Trying to keep up with life, workouts, and my new responsibilities has proved to worn me down, but not in a burnt out kind of way. It’s a good tired, an accomplished tired, a motivating tired. I’m excited to learn more and push myself more, it’s all just going to take some time and some getting used, so bear with me as I embark on this new adventure.