Cancer takes not only a physical toll on one's body, but also a mental and emotional toll on one's mind. This is not only true of the patient herself, but also the people around her. Today is Day 51 of chemotherapy for my little sister, and in that, we rejoice. Day 51 isn't significant in any way, she is still more than halfway out from finishing step one of what will be a four part treatment plan, but to have come even this far is a feat in and of itself. Cancer doesn't care who you are, what your hopes, dreams, and plans were, once it comes into your life, it rears it's ugly head into every aspect of it. And, Kim, she is one of the lucky ones despite how awful all of this is, her prognosis is good, not all women are that fortunate. In 2017, 154, 794 women in the United States alone was living with metastatic breast cancer, and while research and medicine has advanced significantly in recent years, these women are living with an awful disease, and it's side effects for their lifetime. Daily, I try to keep this in mind, and while the days are hard for my sister, she will get through this. I tell her so, often and always, especially when she is having a bad day. I need her to know, even though we are not going through exactly what she is, we have her back, she is not alone. I try to stay positive, and keep her focus forward, as there will be better days ahead.
Treatment has been hard. After, round one went so poorly, her treatment plan was adjusted a bit to help her feel more comfortable. The good news, she is no longer writhing in pain, the bad news the many many other side effects of chemotherapy. The week leading into chemo treatments, her body finally starts to return to some semblance of normalcy. The day before, the day of and the day after treatment she takes steroids which help her body stay in what I'll call a sweet spot, (she wouldn't), but by day three the high begins to wear off, and the crash begins. She spends the next week or so traipsing through both physical and emotional aliments, including but not limited to nausea, exhaustion, muscle aches, and mouth sores, just to name a few. The haze then seems to lift and the cycle starts again. She's already lost too much weight and most of her hair but despite all of it on most days she is still upbeat, hopeful, willing, and ready to continue this fight! Even on her worst days, which can be very dark, she knows this is all just temporary, and for that she is thankful. I am in awe of her strength, and resiliency thus far.
The prayers and positive thoughts have been plentiful, and for that both she and I are eternally grateful. She says the worst part of all of this for her besides the cancer itself and treatment, is not feeling like doing anything. As a mom, she naturally puts pressure on herself, so I spend a lot of time constantly reminding her to slow down, and not to worry about the small things, like house work. If the kids eat chicken nuggets three days in a row, no one is going to care, it's a protein anyway, right? The errands will get done and the house will eventually get cleaned, it will be ok. She, and I are learning, it takes a village to get through something like this, and her people have been showing up! 55 days till she gets to ring that bell! I can't wait to see the smile that is inevitably going to come across her face that day, signifying the end of Stage 1, in this journey, as this to, shall pass.
Editor's Note: On Mother's Day, in Kim's honor, I will be running the Susan G. Komen, "More than Pink" virtual 5K, which I am fundraising for. All the money raised will go towards breast cancer research, so if you are so inclined to donate, the link is in my Instagram bio. Thank you!